Funny Quotes


We all could use to smile more often. Enjoy these cute funny quotes and citations and we hope they do bring a smile to your face. While you may find them humorous, you will also find wisdom in these inspirational words.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Robert Bloch

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. Bob Hope

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. Proverb

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. Arthur C. Clarke

I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. Oprah Winfrey

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P. Jones

I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them. Most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito. It's the little things that get us. David DeNotaris

Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts. Author Unknown

Matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented. Heinrich Heine

Man who run behind car get exhausted. Chinese Proverb

Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly. Stephen Covey

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby

You can't have everything - where would you put it? Steven Wright

Most people fail in life because they major in minor things. Anthony Robbins

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Author Unknown

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain

There is a sign on a country road that always makes me laugh when I pass: SLOW DOWN: FROGS CROSSING. It might seem a joke, but I believe there is great wisdom in that sign. It prods me to acknowledge the life around me, however seemingly inconsequential." Sarah Ferguson The Duchess of York, What I Know Now

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